The Grammys [insert witty blog title here]

I'm doing my best in 2010 to keep up with pop culture. And when I say "keep up," I really just mean "get some sort of clue" so that I can lose my "Bubble Girl" nickname.

In order to aid in this effort, I sat down and watched the Grammy awards tonight. Here are my notes on the show (which I have never before watched in its entirety and I don't ever plan on doing again):

• Lady Gaga, in a thong, doing a duet with Elton John?
• Colbert is pretty funny. My favorites: telling his daughter to stay away from Katy Perry, noting that nothing makes him cool to his daughter, and announcing that yes, while Justin Timberlake brought Sexy Back, Susan Boyle sent it away.
  
• Taylor Swift dancing when Beyonce won for Single Ladies. Somewhat different from Kanye's performance at the VMAs, hmm? HA! I just made a reference to pop culture!!
  
• Got a little too dizzy watching Pink spinning in circles high above the audience. And then dunked in a tank of water and sprinkling everyone below?? And meanwhile, never missing a beat.
• I can't find any 3D glasses to watch the Michael Jackson tribute (I had a pair but I think I threw them out during my last purge. I knew they would come in handy at some point!)
• 10:02pm, trying to keep myself awake to see the final showdown between Beyonce and Taylor Swift
• Michael Jackson's kids look awfully white compared to their cousins...I'm just sayin'...
• WHO is that blond singing with Bon Jovi?? She's ruining my favorite song!! (Who Says You Can't Go Home)
  
• Living on a Prayer: I would have voted for Shot Through the Heart/You Give Love a Bad Name, but not bad, America.
• What did those people do to end up standing just under the stage? They look like common folks.
• Who is the kid with Rihanna and Jay Z. who doesn't want to say anything?? "No thanks." He was cute. Jay's illigitimate child with Rihanna? He and Beyonce don't have kids, do they? Ugh. Confusion.
  
• 10:28, bored.
• 10:31, turning in...
  

And there you have it. Two hours and 31 minutes of my life that I will never get back. But at least I can join the chat at the water coolor tomorrow. But someone's going to have to fill me in on the last 29 minutes...(and yes, that's two posts for today, so I think I'll take a bye tomorrow)